2008 Woodie Awards
Living vicariously
Rating the dating shows
Kelsey Shannon
Issue date: 1/29/03 Section: Arts and Entertainment
- Page 1 of 1
by Kelsey Shannon
Strictly speaking, I have been on one, maybe two, dates in my life. At one I watched Urban Legend and yelled stupid comments to my friend sitting behind me. I was more a very confused Richie Cunningham than the Fonz. So my dating experience is not exactly long or even fascinating. But it would have been if my dates were ever as interesting as those on syndicated post-prime time television. Take your Joe Millionaire or The Bachlorette; I will stick with real dating shows: Blind Date, Elimidate, the sadly cancelled Dismissed, Fifth Wheel, EXtreme Dating. Here are my top five.
We will start with number five: The Fifth Wheel. Despite a somewhat unique concept -- two couples begin a series of dates, and are joined in the middle by a usually skanky "fifth wheel" -- the producers of this show are generally unable to get their "stars" to match the depraved antics of Dismissed or their commentary to match the near-genius level of Blind Date. Nonetheless, there are some hidden gems. My favorite was the episode where one of the contestants insisted on incessantly telling the same story -- which just happened to be about the time he was abducted by aliens.
Coming in at number four: the Jillian Barberie vehicle EXtreme Dating. The host (Barberie) is either clinically insane or pounding Red Bull and vodkas between takes. She has the attention span of an eight year old, and -- lucky for her -- the same quirky charm. The gimmick underlying the show has great potential, and has already been used in a handful of other shows: throw together ostensibly bitter ex-girlfriends, and see where we go from there (it is, to the best of my knowledge, always ex-girlfriends rather than ex-boyfriends. My guess: The producers do not want scorned men embarrassing their exes with stories about the time they did it on the corner of 39th and T Street.)
Sadly, the show suffers from not being quite sleazy enough. The revelations are generally more endearing ("Tell her about the time you cried when watching Last Action Hero") than truly embarrassing. And, of course, it is embarrassment we want.
Next up is the four-on-one action of Elimidate. One lucky man or woman begins the date with four potential suitors, eliminating one every eight minutes or so until he or she is left with Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful. There is embarrassment aplenty. Unfortunately, the embarrassment too often results from one particularly persnickety male picking on the others for wearing loafers on a Wednesday, or some other such fashion faux pas. That said, Elimidate does take advantage of a wonderfully TV-worthy facet of human nature: the tendency for men and women to compete relentlessly for any prize, however ugly, stupid or masochistic. The competitors, who I assume to be otherwise relatively upstanding people, abandon all pretense of civility as soon as they set eyes on their prey. At least two women in every group compete to out-skank each other. The men are just as bad. Each man picks one of a handful of personalities: the jock, the artiste, the sensitive but strong hero, the drunk. No matter what the decision, they all end up looking like asses.
The runner-up is MTV's Dismissed. In this show, one lucky contestant takes out a pair of potential lovers of the opposite sex, dismissing one at the end of the show and (hopefully) going home with the other. Yes, the show is designed for 15-year-old Brittany Spears wannabes. But the men are so unfailingly sketchy, and the girls so consistently easy, that the show is impossible not to watch. Every episode involving a male and two women culminates in one of two ways: the women making out with the man -- or with each other. Either way, everybody wins.
The grand poobah has to be Blind Date. Not nearly as gimmicky as the other shows -- a couple is sent out on a series of date-like activities, usually ending drunkenly at a bar -- Blind Date succeeds through genius. The contestants are no better than those of the other shows; the settings are often inane. But the show itself is spectacular, primarily because of the editing and writing of the show's producers. The "Pop-up Video" style commentary, often imitated but never duplicated, is some of the best humor available in syndication. Perhaps more importantly, the makers of Blind Date realize the importance of plot to a successful reality show. There is a lot more editing in Blind Date than in its competitors, but this creates a more coherent, viewable product. Ultimately, despite Roger Lodge, it also creates a winner.
Shannon is arts and entertainment editor and a government and economics junior.
Strictly speaking, I have been on one, maybe two, dates in my life. At one I watched Urban Legend and yelled stupid comments to my friend sitting behind me. I was more a very confused Richie Cunningham than the Fonz. So my dating experience is not exactly long or even fascinating. But it would have been if my dates were ever as interesting as those on syndicated post-prime time television. Take your Joe Millionaire or The Bachlorette; I will stick with real dating shows: Blind Date, Elimidate, the sadly cancelled Dismissed, Fifth Wheel, EXtreme Dating. Here are my top five.
We will start with number five: The Fifth Wheel. Despite a somewhat unique concept -- two couples begin a series of dates, and are joined in the middle by a usually skanky "fifth wheel" -- the producers of this show are generally unable to get their "stars" to match the depraved antics of Dismissed or their commentary to match the near-genius level of Blind Date. Nonetheless, there are some hidden gems. My favorite was the episode where one of the contestants insisted on incessantly telling the same story -- which just happened to be about the time he was abducted by aliens.
Coming in at number four: the Jillian Barberie vehicle EXtreme Dating. The host (Barberie) is either clinically insane or pounding Red Bull and vodkas between takes. She has the attention span of an eight year old, and -- lucky for her -- the same quirky charm. The gimmick underlying the show has great potential, and has already been used in a handful of other shows: throw together ostensibly bitter ex-girlfriends, and see where we go from there (it is, to the best of my knowledge, always ex-girlfriends rather than ex-boyfriends. My guess: The producers do not want scorned men embarrassing their exes with stories about the time they did it on the corner of 39th and T Street.)
Sadly, the show suffers from not being quite sleazy enough. The revelations are generally more endearing ("Tell her about the time you cried when watching Last Action Hero") than truly embarrassing. And, of course, it is embarrassment we want.
Next up is the four-on-one action of Elimidate. One lucky man or woman begins the date with four potential suitors, eliminating one every eight minutes or so until he or she is left with Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful. There is embarrassment aplenty. Unfortunately, the embarrassment too often results from one particularly persnickety male picking on the others for wearing loafers on a Wednesday, or some other such fashion faux pas. That said, Elimidate does take advantage of a wonderfully TV-worthy facet of human nature: the tendency for men and women to compete relentlessly for any prize, however ugly, stupid or masochistic. The competitors, who I assume to be otherwise relatively upstanding people, abandon all pretense of civility as soon as they set eyes on their prey. At least two women in every group compete to out-skank each other. The men are just as bad. Each man picks one of a handful of personalities: the jock, the artiste, the sensitive but strong hero, the drunk. No matter what the decision, they all end up looking like asses.
The runner-up is MTV's Dismissed. In this show, one lucky contestant takes out a pair of potential lovers of the opposite sex, dismissing one at the end of the show and (hopefully) going home with the other. Yes, the show is designed for 15-year-old Brittany Spears wannabes. But the men are so unfailingly sketchy, and the girls so consistently easy, that the show is impossible not to watch. Every episode involving a male and two women culminates in one of two ways: the women making out with the man -- or with each other. Either way, everybody wins.
The grand poobah has to be Blind Date. Not nearly as gimmicky as the other shows -- a couple is sent out on a series of date-like activities, usually ending drunkenly at a bar -- Blind Date succeeds through genius. The contestants are no better than those of the other shows; the settings are often inane. But the show itself is spectacular, primarily because of the editing and writing of the show's producers. The "Pop-up Video" style commentary, often imitated but never duplicated, is some of the best humor available in syndication. Perhaps more importantly, the makers of Blind Date realize the importance of plot to a successful reality show. There is a lot more editing in Blind Date than in its competitors, but this creates a more coherent, viewable product. Ultimately, despite Roger Lodge, it also creates a winner.
Shannon is arts and entertainment editor and a government and economics junior.