2008 Woodie Awards
Barbarians at the gates
Glenn Galloway
Issue date: 1/15/03 Section: Commentary
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As we return to campus, many changes are occurring. The weather is colder, the leaves have fallen and the freshmen have built up a drinking tolerance. Even Lauinger Library will soon have a coffee stand. Wait a minute ... I smell Communism!!!
Now, many people will probably sing praises for the new establishment, saying some drivel about convenience and making students' lives better. The heck with that. This coffee crackhouse has trouble written all over it.
I have always enjoyed the library. The library is a good place to go for those who wish to spend an evening not using alcohol to damage their liver and/or GPA. I have been mercilessly mocked for it. My hostility towards the Midnight Mug (that is what the Hell-spawned thing is to be named, if my housemate is correct) stems from my love of the library.
This coffee stand is irksome because of the danger it poses. While I may seem hysterical, there is a physical danger to the library. The stand will probably sell hot coffee, assorted drinks, snacks and various what-have-yous on par with More Uncommon Grounds. In other words, lots of spilling opportunities.
If someone spills a coffee in Sellinger Lounge, what really gets ruined? Cheesy 1970's era furniture and a rug, both of which have been stained with much more disturbing fluids. In other words, the risk of spill damage is minimal.
Now, suppose someone is reading a book or a course reserve. In the same cubicle is a pile of two other books to be read (looks like someone decided to leave his research paper until the very last minute again). All of a sudden, his mocha latte goes tumbling like Chevy Chase performing a pratfall. Now there is the potential to damage old or expensive books, or, at the very least, make the rest of your Euro Civ class read a reserve list covered with coffee stains.
It does not even require a ridiculous sitcom-style spill to damage books. Some schmuck could leave a coffee ring on a table or PC console. Then someone could inadvertently place their draft paper on it. The result is still a spoiled piece of literature.
Now, many people will probably sing praises for the new establishment, saying some drivel about convenience and making students' lives better. The heck with that. This coffee crackhouse has trouble written all over it.
I have always enjoyed the library. The library is a good place to go for those who wish to spend an evening not using alcohol to damage their liver and/or GPA. I have been mercilessly mocked for it. My hostility towards the Midnight Mug (that is what the Hell-spawned thing is to be named, if my housemate is correct) stems from my love of the library.
This coffee stand is irksome because of the danger it poses. While I may seem hysterical, there is a physical danger to the library. The stand will probably sell hot coffee, assorted drinks, snacks and various what-have-yous on par with More Uncommon Grounds. In other words, lots of spilling opportunities.
If someone spills a coffee in Sellinger Lounge, what really gets ruined? Cheesy 1970's era furniture and a rug, both of which have been stained with much more disturbing fluids. In other words, the risk of spill damage is minimal.
Now, suppose someone is reading a book or a course reserve. In the same cubicle is a pile of two other books to be read (looks like someone decided to leave his research paper until the very last minute again). All of a sudden, his mocha latte goes tumbling like Chevy Chase performing a pratfall. Now there is the potential to damage old or expensive books, or, at the very least, make the rest of your Euro Civ class read a reserve list covered with coffee stains.
It does not even require a ridiculous sitcom-style spill to damage books. Some schmuck could leave a coffee ring on a table or PC console. Then someone could inadvertently place their draft paper on it. The result is still a spoiled piece of literature.