2008 Woodie Awards
Hazing is for the weak
Glenn Galloway
Issue date: 8/28/02 Section: Commentary
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It's the time of year when the freshmen are running about like dogs let off the leash. I am writing this commentary to help those of you who are trying to adjust to college life and don't want to make enormous jerks of yourselves. Of course, non-freshmen can read this, too, laughing in the nostalgic whimsy of our collective freshmen experience. However, that would make you a retard.
Many of my peers are wondering why I'm writing an article that excludes a larger audience and is probably published in some version in all three papers. Part of it is that I'm an editor and drunk with power. But the main reason is an incident I had during my family's drive down to Washington last week.
On that fateful morning, my mother had decided to stop off in New Jersey to take advantage of the cheaper gasoline prices. As we stopped at a nearby parking lot to stretch our legs, a woman approached us. She had apparently seen the window sticker for Georgetown on our '92 Caravan. As it turned out, she was driving her son to Georgetown and decided to question me about the University, much to her son's chagrin. As we chatted, my mother decided to walk over and talk with the pre-Hoya, much to my chagrin. After this encounter, I was compelled to write this article. After all, somewhere in the depths of Harbin is a freshman who shared one similarity with me: we both have mothers who start conversations with strangers for no good reason. But I digress; I promised advice, not stories.
Join a club or two: At Georgetown, you will be bombarded by recruiters from various clubs, teams, societies, pseudo-fraternities and such. While some of these clubs are useless (like the College Dems), there are a few that definitely deserve your time (like The Georgetown Independent). Besides fluffing résumés, clubs are where you will find a large portion of your friends. Unless you want to be that guy who stays in his room playing solitaire for four years, you will need friends.
Take part in all those dorky orientation events: Every year, there is a group of freshmen who decide to play it cool by not attending the dances, icebreakers and whatnot. These people are generally mistaken. Yes, these events often seem like something that ten-year-olds would do, but you have some leeway to engage in these antics. Everyone knows that you are completely clueless, so it's all good. Even after school begins, walk down the hall and introduce yourself to everyone. At the very least you will be living with these people for a year, so you might as well be known by your name instead of "That bastard who hogs the showers."
Many of my peers are wondering why I'm writing an article that excludes a larger audience and is probably published in some version in all three papers. Part of it is that I'm an editor and drunk with power. But the main reason is an incident I had during my family's drive down to Washington last week.
On that fateful morning, my mother had decided to stop off in New Jersey to take advantage of the cheaper gasoline prices. As we stopped at a nearby parking lot to stretch our legs, a woman approached us. She had apparently seen the window sticker for Georgetown on our '92 Caravan. As it turned out, she was driving her son to Georgetown and decided to question me about the University, much to her son's chagrin. As we chatted, my mother decided to walk over and talk with the pre-Hoya, much to my chagrin. After this encounter, I was compelled to write this article. After all, somewhere in the depths of Harbin is a freshman who shared one similarity with me: we both have mothers who start conversations with strangers for no good reason. But I digress; I promised advice, not stories.
Join a club or two: At Georgetown, you will be bombarded by recruiters from various clubs, teams, societies, pseudo-fraternities and such. While some of these clubs are useless (like the College Dems), there are a few that definitely deserve your time (like The Georgetown Independent). Besides fluffing résumés, clubs are where you will find a large portion of your friends. Unless you want to be that guy who stays in his room playing solitaire for four years, you will need friends.
Take part in all those dorky orientation events: Every year, there is a group of freshmen who decide to play it cool by not attending the dances, icebreakers and whatnot. These people are generally mistaken. Yes, these events often seem like something that ten-year-olds would do, but you have some leeway to engage in these antics. Everyone knows that you are completely clueless, so it's all good. Even after school begins, walk down the hall and introduce yourself to everyone. At the very least you will be living with these people for a year, so you might as well be known by your name instead of "That bastard who hogs the showers."
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