GUSA Presidential Election Mocked in Debate
Joke campaign reaches savage climax in front of tens
Arthur Delaney
Issue date: 2/23/05 Section: News
"Georgetown University must implement a living wage policy," said Nilou Huff, the sole female candidate. The Huff/Fremstad ticket focused mainly on advocacy for increased wages for University employees.
"What can we do to make GUSA effective?" asked Colin Krainin, who campaigned on the promise of increased efficacy in Georgetown's student government.
The tuxedoed Aaron Figura said that bringing "big name entertainment" to the University would be his number one priority. He also proposed putting the Georgetown seal on the waffle irons in the Leo J. O'Donovan cafeteria. "Vote for me and all your wildest dreams will come true."
David Loebsack decried the personal attacks of the GUSA campaigns, saying that "GUSA should be about something important" - issues such as housing and the living wage, not parties and kegs.
"We must celebrate the greatness of Georgetown more than twice a year," said Joe Dickey, who promised increased tailgating if elected.
The standout was John Wilson, whose statement came second but lingered like smoke after an explosion. He rose from his seat with a grave air, his lips tightly sealed. He placed his hands on the sides of the podium.
"In less than one hour," Wilson began, "planes from here and all around the world will launch the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind." Students in the audience looked at each other.
"Perhaps it's fate that today, July the Fourth, we will once again fight for our freedom. Not from tyranny, persecution or oppression. But from annihilation." Now a few people started laughing - probably the ones who recognized this as Bull Pullman's climactic monologue from the 1996 film "Independence Day."
"We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. From this day on, the fourth day of July will no longer be remembered as an American holiday, but as the day that all of mankind declared, 'We will not go quietly into the night!'" Wilson was screaming. His skin turned crimson and a vein stood out of his neck. "We will not vanish without a fight! We will live on! We will survive!"
"What can we do to make GUSA effective?" asked Colin Krainin, who campaigned on the promise of increased efficacy in Georgetown's student government.
The tuxedoed Aaron Figura said that bringing "big name entertainment" to the University would be his number one priority. He also proposed putting the Georgetown seal on the waffle irons in the Leo J. O'Donovan cafeteria. "Vote for me and all your wildest dreams will come true."
David Loebsack decried the personal attacks of the GUSA campaigns, saying that "GUSA should be about something important" - issues such as housing and the living wage, not parties and kegs.
"We must celebrate the greatness of Georgetown more than twice a year," said Joe Dickey, who promised increased tailgating if elected.
The standout was John Wilson, whose statement came second but lingered like smoke after an explosion. He rose from his seat with a grave air, his lips tightly sealed. He placed his hands on the sides of the podium.
"In less than one hour," Wilson began, "planes from here and all around the world will launch the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind." Students in the audience looked at each other.
"Perhaps it's fate that today, July the Fourth, we will once again fight for our freedom. Not from tyranny, persecution or oppression. But from annihilation." Now a few people started laughing - probably the ones who recognized this as Bull Pullman's climactic monologue from the 1996 film "Independence Day."
"We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. From this day on, the fourth day of July will no longer be remembered as an American holiday, but as the day that all of mankind declared, 'We will not go quietly into the night!'" Wilson was screaming. His skin turned crimson and a vein stood out of his neck. "We will not vanish without a fight! We will live on! We will survive!"